TDOC, Chapter 6: Would You Like Some Legalism With That?

And, dear reader, the problems go on. Other courtship-related dangers have to do with the often unmentioned consequences of choosing the courting lifestyle. For instance, I believe that courting can very easily become more about one’s personal status as a family in the Christian community, rather than being about doing what you honestly believe God wants you to do. Essentially, stating that your family is a “courting” family is merely a way of stating that your family wants to belong to a certain type of peer group, and be considered as certain types of people, in a manner similar to stating “Our family is a homeschool family,” “Our girls are modest girls,” or “Our family only watches G-rated movies.” It’s certainly worth mentioning that there are tons of perfectly legitimate Christian families who love their children deeply, but have never considered the courtship system to be ideal for them, or even remotely realistic. Like quite a good number of things often lauded by some people as “the Christian way,” the courtship system is largely a white, middle/upper-class, two-parent family, American custom. So basically, I usually try to avoid using the L-word, because it has largely become one of those blanket terms that people throw around when they can’t think of a better way to insult someone, and ergo has lost most really useful meaning. So whether or not there is a possibility of legalism lurking in the dark corners of the courtship system shall be for you, dear reader, to judge.