the digression of the American romance

In 1964 John Lennon listened to rock music. As a result of this he smoked pot. As a result of that he wanted a girlfriend. As a result of that he had sex. As a result of that, Bill Gothard heard about it. (Although how he did no one quite knows.....) As a result of this we have courting.
The end.

-Meg

postscript: THIS IS HIGHLY SARCASTIC. I love John Lennon.

boys, girls, and sex: the vicious cycle

In the whole world of courtship-minded people (basically homeschoolers who have graduated) boys and girls are not allowed to have any communication outside of a relationship. Now, parents may not say that in so many words cause when they do they sound FREAKING MUSLIM. But nonetheless, it's what they communicate. Then, because they raise their children this way, any touch between a girl and a boy-even bumping of feet say-becomes sexual. Therefore, said boy and girl can't really be left alone because they've been raised such that alone=sex, making courtship necessary. It's a vicious cycle.
I know what I'm talking about, I was raised in the courtship world. Oh-not that my mom would admit that we were-because most "courting families" are legalistic, which we certainly.are.not. (Do you hear the drip drip of sarcasm in my voice?) But nonetheless we essentially are a courting family, much to my chagrin I assure you. I was not raised to view boys as friends. In the attempt to keep my mind from thinking of boys at all, I have instead been taught to only think of boys in a relationshiop sense-and so the cycle goes on. This just simply isn't a healthy way to view guys-always weighing in my mind would I date them or not. Gosh. This is just wrong. My normally raised friends can view guys as just friends to hang out with, not potential soul mates. This oh-so-pure courtship has ultimately ruined my mind.
Courtship was created to keep girls' minds pure and their hearts on God until they are married, or so I'm sure the original intent was. And for the most narrow-minded, unindependently thinking girls I'm sure it works. But I was raised to think on my own, I am my own person. My parents were inconsistent in raising us halfway in one mentality and halfway in the other. The "freedom" of courtship has become my bond.
Vicious cycle much, right?

-Meg

TDOC, Chapter 4: The Inevitable Sex Question

Of course, not all of the above is necessarily bad. For instance, fathers do have a charge to protect their daughters, and it’s really not a good idea to pursue a romantic relationship if you know there is no chance of marriage ever coming out of it. However, I would now like to highlight what I, in my totally inexperienced and hypothetical view, see as some of the very palpable dangers of the courting system. First of all, one of the main reasons cited for choosing the courting system is the belief that chaperoned courting will prevent the couple in question from giving in to their baser urges and having sex before marriage (which I do believe is wrong, so don’t go telling everybody that I advocate it). According to the courting view, ensuring that the couple never spends time together unchaperoned is absolutely essential, because, were the couple to be alone together, even if they are in their 20s and have already been pubescent for several years, they would without fail abandon their personal beliefs, loose all control of their bodily functions, and forget how very inconvenient a possible pre-marital pregnancy is in the courting community, and would promptly break out into spontaneous sex, even on the seats of the movie theater during the louder bits of the movie, and if corner booths in reputable restaurants could talk! However, this view seems to me to belie a central component of Christian doctrine: the idea that God is capable of helping you control yourself when faced with temptation. Courting parents generally expect God to help their children submit to authority, keep their rooms clean, have a patient attitude with younger siblings, and not create online internet viruses that wreak havoc on the national economy, but for some reason, they don’t trust God to help their children not have pre-marital sex. I honestly have to question what it is about this particular sin that requires such special treatment.