Don't you just LOVE these list things? :) I was totally going to precede this with a bunch of disclaimers (because, lol, one of the signs you might be living in the Christian Bubble is that you have always been surrounded by so many over-sensitive people that you feel the need to "disclaim" everything you do and say) but I have class in a few minutes, so I'm just going to post this now in all its controversiality. But I will say that this is supposed to apply to people around my age (obviously, some of these things, like the non-alcoholic one, would not be a problem for someone who is, like, 12) and that it is meant to apply specifically to girls (although some of the things are non-gender-specific) and that, while my list contains original items, I totally scammed this idea from the "SGM Survivors" blog. However, this is a more general list--you may totally have grown up without any exposure to SGM and still exhibit these types of behaviors.
So without further ado...
"42 Signs You Might Be Living in 'the Christian Bubble'"
1.You think that if you ever wore pants, you would automatically cause all males within a 50-mile radius to become inflamed with uncontrollable sexual lust for you.
2.You are arrogant enough to believe that your pant-covered legs are sexy enough to generate that amount of lust.
3.The idea has never entered your head that wearing pants is a heck of a lot better than…not wearing pants.
4.You actually think that “godly” young guys would find librarian-style buns on the heads of 18-year-old girls to be remotely attractive. (hey, not to say that all librarians are unattractive or anything! Because I have noticed some pretty nifty-lookin’ [male!] librarians in my time! [OK, just one. But. Anyway])
5.You think that Jesus had blonde hair and Edward-Cullen-style skin.
6.No, you don’t. You don’t know who Edward Cullen is.
7.You can’t think of an example of your parents ever sinning.
8.You honestly believe you can tell your parents anything.
9.You think your parents’ courtship story is “so sweet,” you regularly quiz your mother about it, and you see absolutely nothing creepy about this…
10.The only Internet acronym you understand is “lol.”
11.You and your mother share an email address.
12.You mother knows the password to your Facebook account.
13.Your gender ratio of Facebook friends (female:male) is about 125:3.
14.You don’t have a Facebook account.
15.What’s Facebook?
16.You’ve never understood what people mean by “that’s what she said.”
17.You consider music by Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and/or Paul Baloche to be “non-Christian.”
18.You don’t judge non-homeschoolers. You just pray for them extra, extra hard.
19.You find it embarrassing to say the word “period.”
20.You think “crap” is a bad word.
21.You can’t believe I just said a bad word on my Christian blog.
22.You’ve never had a hair cut.
23.You’ve never owned a cell phone.
24.You’ve never been to a sleep-over.
25.You’re 18 years old and still don’t have a driver’s license.
26.Your parents have actually made you break off a friendship with another girl because she liked to talk about boys.
27.The past few weeks you have really been experiencing some suffering for Christ. You informed a friend at church that she was dressing immodestly, and now she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.
28.You’ve had your heart broken once. A guy once talked to you for 20 minutes together after evening church service. Unfortunately, he didn’t propose to you the next day.
29.Stuck between the impossible options of surviving the moral anarchy and irresistible temptations of secular college, paying the GDP of a small European country for Christian college, and marrying a guy at 19 without ever talking to one, you have elected to live in your parent’s house and study the homemaking arts during your years of singleness. Oh, sorry, you knew all along that was God’s best for single daughters. My bad.
30.You listen to Majesty Music on a regular basis.
31.As a child, you weren’t allowed to watch Aladdin or the Lion King.
32.You consider the works of J.R.R. Tolkein, C.S. Lewis, and/or Madeline L’Engle to be New Age and/or demonic and/or evil.
33.You have never seen Star Wars, Titanic, Indiana Jones, The Lord of the Rings, and/or a James Bond movie.
34.Avatar? What’s that?
35.Your parents didn’t give you “the talk” until you were about 15.
36.You got an education from reading Song of Solomon.
37.You seriously feel like you have a problem with sexual lust.
38.Sure you have unsaved friends! Why else do you go with your family to the local retirement home every week?
39.Sure you’ve tried an alcoholic beverage! Your family visited a Presbyterian church once.
40.Sure you’ve been to movie theaters! Facing the Giants ftw!
41.Sure you know how to function in the “real world”—you know the right way to do everything!
And last but not least…
42.You don’t think you are living in the Christian bubble.
-Violet
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7 comments:
That is hysterical! And oh so true.
lol thanks! It's good to know someone else found this list funny...it's not my intention to be mean or make fun of anyone, but the truth is that so many Christians go so over-the-top with their personal convictions, that it's no wonder people shy away from going to church or finding out more about the Christian faith. I think a lot of people need to take a strong dose of reality...and I feel like I can say that, because sadly, the vast majority of things on that list apply to me, or have applied to me at some point. Time for some changes!
Oh, btw. I feel that #37 (the one about sexual lust) perhaps needs a little more explanation. I'm not saying that sexual lust doesn't exist or can't ever become a problem for someone. But as I said at the beginning, this list is meant to apply to girls around my age. And I think that when a girl grows up in an overly sensitive/conservative family or buys into the courtship mentality, she does not have an accurate understanding of what "lust" actually is. Now, maybe I'm totally off in my calculations here, but in my experience with my own mind and with every other girl I've ever talked to, when girls get together and talk about boys, they do not talk about the intimate details of having sex with them! (because, eww.) And when a girl has a "crush" on a boy, that does not mean that she walks around constantly fantasizing about her and her crush having sex. To a girl's mind, emotions, feelings, and romance are way she views and thinks about guys, not so much the actual sexual act. However, because of lovely teachings like "emotional purity," many girls have been duped into thinking that those emotions and romantic feelings, which are perfectly natural and normal, somehow constitute "lusting" after a guy. That's just a bad definition of lust. I think part of the reason for this confusion is that, while females certainly do their part to perpetuate the system, "courtship" as a movement seems to have been started by dads, pastors, Joshua Harris, etc.--all of whom are, you guessed it, male. Perhaps they assume that the female mind is indentical to the male mind in that the first thing girls think when they find themselves attracted to a guy is "omg, SEX." (not that sex is ALL guys think about or that guys are incapable of feeling emotion, etc...but...still).
I think you're totally spot on about the lust thing.
Another horrible thing to consider (and this is when your post is about to take a decidedly downhill turn) is that one out of every 3 females in this country is sexually abused*. Yep, that means one out of every 3 females that read here. In fact, there may be chances that if this site draws in those who are either very reliegious themselves or have spent time around rather religious people (which I'm guessing it will), then the chances are that there may be more than one in three readers who have experienced sexual abuse. Now I'll explain what sounds so outlandish. Among sexual predators/abusers, there is a higher percentage of "very good, very religious folks", than the percentage that they number in the rest of the general population. I'll say it a different way since it may not have made much sense. Let's say highly religious, very devout people make up X percent of the general population of the US. Among the population of sexual predators and abusers, very devoutly religious people make up X plus some percent.
There are different theories as to why this is so. Suppression of sexual desire or emotions? Constant focus on what NOT to do means you're gonna end up doing it? But all that to say, often times their victims are those close to them, so you're going to have slightly higher percentage of being the victim of sexual abuse than in the general population. (How much does that suck? Especially for those of us who grew up in the church and want to make most of our friends fellow Christians?)
So I wouldn't be surprised at all if those who are trying to make up the rules, are making them up based on their own sin issues than the people they are trying to control. Like certain pastors who are always going on and on about the sin of pride. Anyone think these sermons are often just handy mirrors for the pastors? I just think of all the sermons I heard where I was distressed that I had committed the same sin of (fill in the blank), only to realize years later I was repenting of sins I had never even committed! Crazy. Just crazy.
Indeed, EDavis. That is so very sad. I actually know someone who was the victim of a situation similar to what you're describing. We should never assume that just because someone SEEMS good/religious, that there is no possibility of them being a creep in disguise. I call it the "Claude Frollo Syndrome." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hunchback_of_Notre_Dame
Ok, don't know what happened with the link there. Here it is again.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hunchback_of_Notre_Dame
OK, this link is just not happening. Basically, Claude Frollo is a character in Victor Hugo's novel The Hunchback of Notre Dame. He is a churchman who condemns everyone for the very sins that he commits in especially creepy ways.
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